ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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