there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
