Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
