She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize