My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
