By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
