We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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