Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
