Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize