omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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