Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
