Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
