Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Enjoy the penises
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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