This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
