Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
