every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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