I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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