Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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