o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
