so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize