ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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