"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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