Kiss
Puke
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
