I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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