you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
