i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
