Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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