My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
