plz talk dirty to me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
