I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
