with your own penis?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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