Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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