you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My vagina just recognized that song.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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