So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
