He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
