I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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