mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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