I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
