Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
