I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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