i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize