just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
