I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
