And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize