I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
