also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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