I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I bet he comes in French.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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