first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
