Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
