weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
