I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
