i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
