Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
