There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
