New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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