her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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