She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
