I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
