She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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