There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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