Im at strip club and am horny
I think my vagina is haunted
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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